You're Too Kind: The History and Practice of Flattery - Couverture rigide

'Always entertaining... rich in erudition, full of scholarly nuggets and sharp observations... I'm not saying this just because I am being paid to review it, but I really like this book' Christopher Matthew, DAILY MAIL
'Mr Stengel has prepared an entertaining and at times surprisingly serious and disturbing meditation on flattery' NEW YORK OBSERVER
'A genial, witty and engaging account (honestly!) of human foibles, relationships and social conventions by NEW YORKER and TIME senior editor Stengel ... This is a work of insightful social criticism' PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
'How ironic - a flatteringly solicited bit of flattery slapped on a book about flattery. But as YOU'RE TOO KIND reminds us, it's important to distinguish between mere flattery and honest praise: this book is really smart and funny and wise' Kurt Anderson, author of TURN OF THE CENTURY
'A comprehensive, humorous, and insightful history of man's sycophantic behavior' KIRKUS REVIEWS
'A funny and informative chronology of kiss-upmanship... (Flattery) deserves its own well-researched, thoughtful and often downright funny historical analysis. It's not mere flattery to state that Richard Stengel has delivered such a book' FORBES
'Mr Stengel has prepared an entertaining and at times surprisingly serious and disturbing meditation on flattery... A work that is lively to the point of occasional glibness, is analytically penetrating and theoretically sound' NEW YORK OBSERVER
'As a handbook on how to flatter, YOU'RE TOO KIND rules' SALON.COM BOOKS
'An engaging and original book' CHICAGO TRIBUNE
'Mr Stengel builds a narrative that offers both cultural history and utility' WASHINGTON TIMES
'YOU'RE TOO KIND is a learned and lucid examination of ass-kissing over the ages' WASHINGTON MONTHLY
'Stengel's writing is sharp and amusing' FORT WORTH STAR
'Far-reaching, wise-cracking' EVENING STANDARD
'Taking us from ancient history to modern psychology, Stengel offers plenty of sage advice in his guide to brown-nosing through the ages' SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY
'This is an amusing subject in the right hands, and Richard Stengel's enjoyment of it is infectious'
Hugh Massingberd, MAIL ON SUNDAY
'[A]Thorough, thoughtful and witty history of adulation, apple-saucing and how to kiss ass ... a technically accomplished book'
SUNDAY HERALD (GLASGOW)
'A genial yet totally serious study of a timeless activity'
BOOKS MAGAZINE
'The author of this wonderful book is a highly perceptive, uniquely talented scholar and gentleman. But that's enough apple-polishing, oily tongued boot-licking and sycophantic, fawning sweet talk for one review'
ABERDEEN PRESS & JOURNAL
'This witty volume is a great handbook for those of us who were behind the door when the ability to kiss ass was doled out...If you, too, are sick and tired of being trampled in the sycophantic rush, there are boot-licking tips aplenty in this potenitally life-enhancing book'
LIVERPOOL ECHO
'A wonderful, SUPER book' EVENING LEADER
'Illuminating, with insightful observations on the whole of human nature, this book is actually informative while being side-splittingly funny' GLASGOW EVENING TIMES

Okay, who was the first flatterer? If you guessed Satan, you'd be close, but according to YOU'RE TOO KIND, flattery began with chimpanzees, who groom each other all day long. In fact, flattery is an adaptive behaviour that has helped us survive since caveman days. It's in our genes.
Our flattery is simply strategic praise, and to illustrate its myriad forms, Richard Stengel takes us on a witty idiosyncratic tour, from chimps to the God of the Old Testament (who craved flattery but never got it), to the troubadour poets of the Middle Ages (who invented the sappy cliches of romantic flattery), all the way through to Dale Carnegie (flattery will get you everywhere) and Monica Lewinsky's adoring love letters to her Big Creep (faux insults are also a form of flattery).
Flattery thrives in hierarchical settings like royal courts or Fortune 500 boardrooms, and it oils the social machinery of everyday life. Studies show it works best on those who already have high opinions of themselves. Stengel sees public flattery as an epidemic in our society and private praise as being all too scarce. Most often, though, flattery these days is just a harmless deception, a victimless crime that often ends up making both the giver and the receiver feel a little better. In short, flattery works.